Sara watches every Oscar Best Picture - Amadeus

I didn't like the IMDB summary of this movie, so here's the Wikipedia one: "The story, set in Vienna, Austria, during the latter half of the 18th century, is a fictionalized biography of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Mozart's music is heard extensively in the soundtrack of the movie. The film follows Italian composer Antonio Salieri at the court of Emperor Joseph II, and his jealous vendetta against his younger rival, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart." It was the best picture of 1984 and F. Murray Abraham won best actor for playing Salieri.

So, some thoughts before I get to the plot. First is, Mozart's little giggle made me want to break things. Also, I don't really get it? I think it's a bridge too far in terms of separating him from his peers as a super-weirdo. He has PINK HAIR for sobbing out loud! He's already a weirdo! I mean-the hair is a wig, but still. No one else wears a pink wig in the movie. Also, it does seem odd to me that as a classical music nerd, I've never seen this before. It's just one of those movies I've been meaning to watch since I was like 11, and never really got around to it. But anyway, in my mind I was comparing it to Mr. Holland's Opus, which is the other great movie about a conductor. And spoiler alert, but Mr. Holland's Opus was better(sorrynotsorry). And my last thought about this movie before diving into plot is that F. Murray Abraham's prothesis was AWFUL. And also-did you know that he played a villain in Star Trek: Insurrection? I thought that was odd, because most people start at Star Trek and then go on to become 'real actors'. Not that I'm upset about it, although in Star Trek, he played a super weird baddie who also had awful face prothesis(I've thoughtfully provided photographic evidence). Maybe F. Murray Abraham got typecast after this movie? Who knows!

This is Old Salieri


And this is Ru'afo. In Star Trek, he plays this guy who is like clinging to his youth by doing gross face treatments. He's kind of a lame Voldemort, and his death, just like Voldemort's is also very gross.


So the plot! Salieri is sad because he wants to play music and his dad wants him to be able to eat and stuff when he's old, so Salieri asks God to kill his dad and God is like 'Done.' So Salieri becomes a great composer and works for the Austrian King/Emperor/whatever. Then, some hot-shot fratboy with stupid pink hair shows up and Salieri is MAD because what was the point of asking God to kill his dad if some pink-haired jerk is better than him? So, obviously, Salieri decides to burn his cross and turn his back on God and also swear to destroy/kill Mozart. As you do. And up until this point, the movie hadn't really grabbed me? I don't know-it felt a little cold or something. But the second half is where all the good stuff is. Mozart gets sick, and he's poor and he's going mad-and that was much more interesting to watch the frat boy thing. And Salieri is like =( the whole time about everything, right up until Mozart collapses during a performance-then Salieri helps him back home to write a requiem before he dies(there's a weird subplot where Salieri disguises himself as Mozart's dad to fuck with him and make him write the requiem in the first place but well. There it is I guess). And this scene-where Mozart is dictating the requiem-is by far the best in the movie. Because at this point you realize that the music that had been scoring the movie up until this point, is sort of an outpouring of Mozart's madness and he hears the music he's writing as fully formed-that's why he doesn't erase or cross anything out when he's writing. And Salieri is realizing his genius and while obviously being super jealous, seems to feel like a weird protective understanding of Mozart? So maybe the whole time if Salieri had tried to understand Mozart's genius, instead of KILLING IT WITH FIRE, things would've gone better for everyone. Their interaction in this scene is the best and it's a shame that A. the movie spent so much time on Mozart going to parties and stuff and B. they had so few scenes together. So then Mozart dies and Salieri is like ....yay? I thought it was also interesting that the movie ended on Mozart's laugh, especially as Salieri is being wheeled through the sanatorium. Maybe the movie is trying to say that all composers go batshit at some point? I don't know.

So, I guess I'd give the second half of the movie an 8/10, and the first half like 4/10. Mr. Holland's Opus by the way is a 4/4(haha-music jokes! I wanted to write that it was a C, but you know-not a C on like an A-F grading system. Jokes are hard guys) Anyway, this brings me to the women in the movie about which I had thoughts. First was, sometimes I liked his wife and sometimes I hated her, and I really couldn't decide which. It seemed like, the movie couldn't really decide what to do with her. First she's a coquette, then a blushing bride, then a put-upon housewife, then a protective hausfrau, etc. etc. She went through so many evolutions it was hard to keep up especially since she wasn't given a lot of screen time to sell all of it, and you know-wasn't the main character. She was ok though, I liked that she piped up to both Mozart's dad and also that one vaudeville guy. Then there was the housemaid played weirdly by a very young Cynthia Nixon(pre-gubernatorial run!). I don't know, the character was hella stupid and also Cynthia was not a very good actress back then. She really oversold a lot of her scenes. Like she thought she was in a huge auditorium instead of on screen. But back to her being dumb-why did Salieri even want her to spy on the Mozarts anyway? She was clearly too dumb to understand what all was going on. I guess he could've wanted it that way, except she got afraid when he would drink and be eccentric and stuff(he was not, at least in this movie painted, to be violent at all) so her reaction is kind of weird.

So there it is. Mr. Mozart's Opus.

Sara watches every Oscar Best Picture - Terms of Endearment

Well. This was a movie. A movie that I watched. And let me tell you how I felt about it. "Ugh. Blech. Harumph. Pfft. Snikt." The last one is just one of those onomatopoeia words from a comic book, but the fine point of it is that I didn't hate this movie as much as I thought I would? But I didn't like it either. Spoilers to follow!

The IMDB summary of this movie is as follows "Follows hard-to-please Aurora looking for love, and her daughter's family problems." Which, sure. That's accurate I guess. My plot summary would probably be something like "Uptight mother tortures and berates daughter who marries a real dud of a human being. The daughter-played by Debra Winger, goes on to suffer in her marriage and then die. The mother-played by Shirley Maclaine, dates a bunch of randos and then Jack Nicholson, and then doesn't die."

This movie had some real cameos though let me tell you. Danny Devito! John Lithgow! Who by the way, makes this face at one point in the movie and it's so hilarious I had to get a screen cap

And that I assume is why the movie was under 'comedies' in the Amazon library. But I guess Debra Winger was into his dumb face because they had a real weird affair. Which started by him buying her groceries. I generally feel like this movie treated everyone except Shirley and Debra(whose names were Aurora and Emma respectively) like set pieces. Emma's friend Patsy has like 4 lines in this whole movie. At the end when Emma is dying of cancer(I said there would be spoilers), Patsy is all, "You're my touchstone." Which would probably have more emotional weight if Patsy was a 3-dimensional character. But I digress-because for a movie made in 1983-and having won the award for best picture, it does feature 2 women as the lead roles, and they have way more lines than the men. And I guess I'd be happier about that if I liked any of the characters. As it is, my favorite character were probably Emma's younger son(not the older one, he was a real shit), who's little face was just so darned cute and so heartbreaking when she had to tell him she was dying.

I'm really curious what people thought of the Jeff Daniels(whose name in this movie is FLAP. That was honestly a human being's name. Flap.) and Jack Nicholson who played Garrett. My issue with Jeff Daniels is that he was a weasel. And at the end when she died, he didn't want his kids to live with him???? Like I guess at least he's honest in saying he'd probably fuck it up, but also, like...he doesn't even want his kids to live with him? They'd be hundreds of miles away? Ugh-and I thought, maybe Aurora was kind of a bitch to wait til the day before the wedding to tell her daughter not to marry FLAP(never marry a man named Flap! No one should have to tell you that! That is something all people should know instinctively!) but she was totally right. You shouldn't be having kids with a person who doesn't want to raise them if you're not there. I guess that's just a personal opinion. And he was sleeping during her death scene! Isn't that just a testament to how shitty he is.

Anywho, I guess Jack Nicholson was the head-scratchiest for me. In the beginning he's just a washed up loser who chases younger girls. Actually my favorite people in the whole movie would probably be the 2 girls who dropped him off at his house one night and told him they thought he'd be a real hero, because he was an astronaut earlier on in his life-but that he turned out to be a huge disappointment. TELL IT!

But anyway, the movie has established that he likes younger ladies, and then he's into Aurora even though she's 100% cray cray. Side note I really couldn't stand her wardrobe in this movie. Everything she wore looked like a doily had sex with a bed skirt. My favorite part of their relationship was when they grabbed each other's butts at the airport. I don't know, this movie is weird. Oh and the thing I forgot to mention where Aurora has a ton of suitors who have dinner at her house all the time! It's super weird!

To summarize, if I'm being honest-I wonder if this movie would've won best picture if Emma hadn't died. Like if this had just been a movie about a mother and daughter living their lives, would anyone have thought...ART! I doubt it? I mean-listen, I think Gilmore Girls did it better, but what do I know!? I kinda wonder if this movie is anything like Beaches(which is another movie about 2 women who are very close and then one dies tragically...spoiler? but also-I'll never know that either because those movies just aren't my thing and also Beaches didn't win Best Picture).

Sara watches all the Oscar Best Pictures - An American in Paris

Well! Gene Kelley is certainly orange in this movie! I can tell you that. No burying the lede here, the first and foremost thing for you to know is that he is so orange as to be an alarming shade of orangey/brown. Also he wears A LOT of makeup.

Also! I had no idea that this was the movie where 'I Got Rhythm' comes from! Classic Gershwin! An unexpected delight! (For whatever reason I completely forgot they did the music for this movie)

Onto plot and stuff! IMDB's description is: 'Three friends struggle to find work in Paris. Things become more complicated when two of them fall in love with the same woman.' Starring Orange Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron. Well I can tell you at 33 minutes into this thing and we haven't heard Leslie Caron actually say anything and we've only seen her in a weird dance montage. But the other woman in this movie(who is interested in Gene Kelly's painting...if you know what I mean) is here. And he gets super indignant because she asks him out? He thinks she wants a male escort-which is nuts because she's obviously a normal person but also extremely good looking so why would she need paid company? It's all very weird. Old movies!

But it's not over! He finally meets Leslie Caron at a cafe and STARES OPENLY like a real creep, then goes over and insists she dance with him. And the whole time she seems horrified and weirded out OBVIOUSLY. And he's like, well you know, just dance with me for a few minutes. GENE KELLY! I'M APPALLED. And of course, it gets worse, he asks for her number, and when she gives the wrong one, her friend corrects her, but Gene Kelly STILL DOESN'T GET THE HINT, and calls her anyway! And when she is basically like "Stop stalking me and go away forever" he decides, as one does, to SHOW UP AT HER PLACE OF BUSINESS. You guys. Is Gene Kelly an axe murderer in this movie? Basically I hate everyone in this movie except again Leslie Caron for being the only normal and relatable person in it. Right up until he asks her out, and is like "I'm fun and normal" and she's like, "Despite all evidence to the contrary, that totally checks out, let's date!" Sigh.

So they are dating, and then there are some very weird musical asides. I love the Gershwins, but this movie came to a full stop for 10 minutes so a side character could have a daydream about playing a full orchestration of his music. What's that even about?

Anyway-so blondie is still super into Gene Kelly, and he's still super into Leslie Caron, who is also dating Gene Kelly's friend-WHO is a super hot french guy with a great set of pipes and is also a snappy dresser. And that guy wants to marry Leslie Caron(is it obvious who I think she should choose?) Anyway, I do think it's interesting that the movie, even being made in the 1950's doesn't really bat an eyelash at a woman dating multiple men, or really at a woman(blondie) setting up a sweet deal for Gene Kelly. Who is a terrible painter. He paints with his spatula thingy! Even I know that's not how you paint! Speaking of how not to do things-old timey kissing in movies is ridiculous you guys. They just smash their faces together and then wiggle them around a bit. Like bobbing for apples on another person's face.

Oh god this movie. Ok so then Gene Kelly(his name is Jerry Mulligan in this movie but it couldn't matter less) tells Leslie Caron(Lisa) he loves her, and she loves him too but she decides to marry the hot French guy, but obviously, French guy(Henri) overhears and is a gentleman and backs out because it's what she wants(and obvi he deserves much better). HOWEVER, we have to sit through another grinding halt in the movie plot to watch some stupid dance number and I literally can't. This is probably why I don't remember much about this movie because it ends on A REAL DUD of a musical dance number that includes fun house mirrors, multiple changes in costume, a fountain, etc. It sucks and I hated it-and I LOVE dance movies. This is a well documented fact about me! And I thought for a split second at the end the movie would close on Gene Kelly looking sadly at a rose as Leslie Caron rides off to America with her hot Frenchman but no. She comes back and they do the old timey kissing thing the end. UGH. Sorry, I guess I didn't like this movie that much. EDIT PEOPLE!

Some of my favorite(?) lines include
"You know some days you look exceptionally pretty." This was the first case of negging the world ever saw(thanks so much Orange Gene Kelly).

"You only meet the right girl once."
"That many times?" Spoken by the comedic relief character. He really chewed some scenery when Gene Kelly and the hot french dude were talking about Leslie Caron.

Sara watches all the Oscar Best Pictures - Gigi

I've decided to take on a new project and watch every movie that ever won the Academy Award for Best Picture. There are 90, and after a tally, I've seen 28 already. That leaves 62 unseen movies. So today I begin with Gigi, the Best Picture of 1958. IMDB's description is: "Weary of the conventions of Parisian society, a rich playboy and a youthful courtesan-in-training enjoy a platonic friendship, but it may not stay platonic for long." Starring Leslie Carron and Louis Jourdan.

WELL. Let me tell you something. I have no idea how I feel about this movie. Now granted, it was made in 1958 so in the intervening 60 years our ideas about courtship and womanhood etc are a lot different. But I don't think the IMDB description is entirely accurate. Gigi is a musical-and opens with a song not at all condescendingly titled "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" where one of the lyrics is "without them what would little boys do." Then he(this weird old dude) talks about people who won't get married and people who don't get married(the difference being that men won't because they don't want to but women don't because they want to but aren't desirable/rich/etc. enough? But if they can't have good jobs and inherit money that's probably true since this movie is set in 1900).

AND YET! I was thoroughly enjoying this movie for the first 90% of it. Even the fact that the main love interest of Gigi was named Gaston! I wonder if Disney named Gaston after him in Beauty and the Beast? Well in any case- I found the character of Gigi in the beginning to be charming-just as Gaston does. She's me! Runs around and plops into chairs and steals sips of champagne while cheating at cards! Except I'm 28, so I don't have to steal sips of champagne. Which brings me to my first issue with this movie which is, HOW OLD IS EVERYONE!? Gigi seems to be about 16/17, and Gaston maybe like late 20s/early 30s? So. That's kind of gross, but again the times! They were a-different(I'm pretty sure that's the lyric). My other issue-more of a nitpick, is how does Gaston know this family? It seems weird if he's so rich that he hangs out with this group of poor misfit women? Just me?

But then we get to the real crux of the movie, which is that after they all go on some beach holiday, they come back and the grandmother is like OMG! Maybe they should get married??? But then! UGH. He just decides he wants Gigi as his live in mistress, but like, she would live in a different house? It seems super gross, and I know it was a thing, but if they got along so well, AND HE LOVES HER, and also he is a family friend, wouldn't the decent thing be to either marry her or forget the whole thing? But no! In fact her grandmother and great aunt are like! Yay! This is exactly what we wanted for you! Go be this man's mistress! But he's not married, so you're really just a girlfriend he won't marry!? I don't know. It's all very confusing to me. AND GIGI IS LIKE, YO THIS IS WACK, NO THANKS. Because OBVIOUSLY! And then!? She changes her mind!?

So they go out on a date, and everyone in Paris is gross and gossipy, but Gigi is just like leaning into it at this point. Gaston seems super uncomfortable, and this is the part where a 1958 musical diverges from a 2018 movie. Because in 2018, I'm thinking to myself, oh no. He's bored of her already just like he got bored of all his other girlfriends. So he drags her out of the party and back to her house and it's A Scandal. And then 2 minutes later he comes back to propose and they live happily ever after? I had whiplash you guys. I'm not necessarily upset that things ended happily, just that it seemed like he should've done that to begin with. Maybe they're trying to show that he like grew as a person, and became better. But it seems like he became better and grew against his own wishes so that's super weird. I mean I get that he's a rich playboy and he doesn't HAVE to marry her, but still. If we are supposed to root for them to be together he should be a good person. On purpose. So I guess my thoughts are, that this world is not good enough for the Gigi's in it, and why did society/her grandmother and aunt feel the need to remove Gigi's joie de vivre and personality just so she could get a man who was kind of gross? #savegigi

As an aside I don't feel it necessary to talk that much about the actual music in this movie because it wasn't very good.

This movie is a time capsule about how not to treat young girls. AND I ALMOST FORGOT? That Gaston went out with a girl and when they broke up she tried to COMMIT SUICIDE and everyone was all LOL about it!!!!!!!???? I think I blocked it out because it was weird as hell and I don't know what even to say about it.